Well...more like three years 1/4 since I started this blog. And, to be honest, I'm not really happy with how it's turned out. No, not because I ended up being way too lazy to write anything on it for two years, but because I haven't grown up any. In the first half of 2005 I was just some sophomore in high school with no friends, a very unhealthy obsession with the internet, and social anxiety. I wrote about internet drama, school, video games, and other stuff. Sure, that could be considered normal by a 16 year old's standards. But what about now? What am I going to write about now? I have nothing. I've grown up none. I'm still the irresponsible teenager who will hit her midlife crisis in less than two months. Is this my fault? Yes. Is there something I could've done to change it? Well now that I think about it...no. I hate to whine because I feel like such a hypocrite, and because I know for a fact that there are people out there who have it worse than me. I...don't know where I'm going in life. In 2003 I had internet friends, my dog, and my one friend who stuck behind me no matter what I did with my life. What a sad, pathetic life. What do I have in 2008? My dog (for now...), internet friends who I very seldom talk to because they've all found the meaning of life, and a few people I've shut out because of my anxiety and my inability to let go of the past. My friend found the meaning of life as well and will be a parent within the next 24 hours. While she was out making new friends and meeting the love of her life, what was I doing? That's right. I was sitting on my ass playing Pokemon Pearl Version. Sure, I have all the 1337 pogeymanz, but really, what do I have? Wasted life. Lots of it. A very immature hobby that I took up when my older cousins wouldn't even have anything to do with me when their friends came over. They locked me in the basement for shits and giggles and what did I do? Tell on them? Oh hell no, they would've done worse. I played their Nintendo Entertainment System. This is where I went wrong. Now I waste so much time on that garbage I don't have any real friends. My personality went to piss and now I've shut out every living being that has tried to loosen me up. I keep telling myself "it's for their own good", and maybe I'm right, but that means I'M unhappy now.

So what is my goal for the next 3 and 1/4 years?  I could list the normal stuff. I could list 1) full time job 2) marriage 3) get a life 4) move out, but why? It'll never happen. I'm going to be the same loser sitting at this very same computer writing in this stupid blog. I'm never going to get out of it. I've dug myself a hole so deep and the only way to get out of it now is to kill myself. No, don't get your hopes up, I'm even too much of a coward to do that. Sure, I've thought about it, but so has everyone else. It's not an original idea by any means. Before you try to criticize me for it, just think about how many times YOU'VE thought about it. Hell, maybe you've even tried it. Okay, so now that suicide is out of the way, lets move on. I've always felt like my family has abandoned me. I have a mother who loves her boyfriend dearly and would take his side over her own daughter's any day. I have a brother who has more friends than I do and loves to brag about it. I have a father who I never see, never talk to, and forget who he is sometimes. I have grandparents that I take advantage of and couldn't repay them for all they've done for me in a million years. I have two little cousins who are growing up so fast that they've left their favorite role model (who sadly, is writing this) in the dust YEARS ago. I have an older cousin who I love so much and look up to her like she's more than a cousin, but does she feel the same way about me? No. I have another cousin who will be spending the rest of his life in prison. I have another cousin who used to be my best friend until she stabbed me in the back so hard and made me wish I wasn't the coward that I am. I could go on, maybe forever, but I'll stop so I don't waste my time on it. Tyler and Zach, I wish I was still your favorite cousin. Grandma and Grandpa, do yourself a favor and shut me out like I've done to so many people lately, I don't deserve you. Everyone else... forget me.

So now, I sum up this post for you tl;dr people - I fail. That is all.

Yeah, so there's a dancing PsyPoke (Psyduck/Slowpoke) dancing at the top of my screen...o.O I'm surprised I haven't had any emails saying "OMG KRISP DID U NO THERE R POKEMON AT THE TOP OF MY SCREEN!!!!1" I'm thinking about pulling my own April Fools prank on my mom by telling her I'm a lesbian, but she'll definitely be asleep by the time I get home...maybe I'll do it to my brother instead. Today is the "ice cream reset" at work, and hopefully I won't have to do anything for that, lol. I'm so lazy.

I caught a shiny Gastly in Pearl Version the other day, man, it was awesome. I sorta want to lay down and play my game, but I have to leave in less than an hour for work, so that's out. Oh and for those who don't know, I was forced to quit the restaurant back in Feb., because one of the managers is a total bitchtard. I saw this cook that works there in Walmart the other day, and she gave me a dirty look. I know this sounds spineless of me, but that actually hurt. I really miss that place...

With that said, I should probably log off and get ready for work. Bye.

Yeah, it's been well over a YEAR since I updated this blog properly. Nobody visits it anymore, and it's pretty obvious why.

I just feel like talking tonight. It's currently 2:32am as I write this, and I'm listening to Mother 2 (Super Smash Bros. Melee soundtrack.) As some of you may have noticed, I've hid most of my previous entries. This is to prevent people from reading some of the STUPIDEST shit on the internet. Yes, I used to be extremely emo and whiny. I actually hid them a long time ago, and Mr. Google probably doesn't remember them. Anyway, I'll get back to the reason I wanted to update this. (Oh yes, I randomly bold the words I think are important.)

The resturant: Um...yeah, not much happening there with me, because I'm never there anymore. I work tomorrow and Saturday, though. lol I can't believe I used to bellyache about working there double shift...I really needed to be slapped around a bit with a large pink "slapstick" . I still think they're on the verge of firing me, but I really don't blame them.

Walmart: I've been working there 35-40 hours a week now. Assholes finally paid me today, which is awesome. I gave $100 to my mother for bills and such, hopefully she'll stop complaining about my computer running 24/7 now. I'll start off with the good news: I have tomorrow off! The bad news...well, I work 9 hours on Saturday and 3 at the restaurant. It's okay though I guess.

Internet: Wow, I can't believe I'm still addicted as ever to the internet. Two jobs, and I still come online at 2:30am to type random stuff on my blog. D: !

Gaming: Two jobs, huge internet addiction, a somewhat sane sleep schedule, and I've been doing a lot of gaming lately. Currently I'm playing EarthBound on SNES (but really I'm playing the ROM because I fail and don't own the actual cartridge.) I like the game, but its almost over. :/

That's it for now I guess. Maybe I'll update after the weekend...ends.

So, I got the job at Walmart yesterday, and I start tomorrow. I've had a depressing day though, because I have to quit my current job. That restaurant is so...fun. I really don't want to quit, and I'm going to miss the people who work there (especially Barb and Laura, since I'll never see them again. :/) I don't know why, but I'm so mopey and depressed over it. I came in for work this morning, and customers were there... all the cooks/busers/waitresses were gathered a table, talking about Cameron (who was the head waitress) quitting. That's a shame, I wonder what happened.

I'm kind of surprised about their reaction when I told them I was quitting... they all groaned and didn't look too happy about it. :/ I wrote a note to tack to the board, saying "Its been fun, but I quit. Please remove me from the schedule by 2/2/08. Thanks -Amber G." and for some reason the waitresses found it hilarious. A waitress and dishwasher quitting in one weekend...and our boss is away for a few months. I feel kinda bad for them, but they shouldn't have any problems finding someone new. I wish them luck, and hope the best for them. Maybe I'll eat there someday too...

So yeah, the orientation at Walmart was so boring, I don't even  want to explain it. I'll just say it sucked majorly.

p.s. my mom doesn't need to know I quit. -_-

Mike. I hope you die a horrible, painful, slow death of AIDS. You are a worthless son of a bitch.